Home » Can We be Honest? Verbal and Nonverbal Communication vs the Written Word

Reprint

For those of you who have read my last article, 'Is Social Networking the New Intimacy' this a rticle takes this controversy one step further. For those of you who have not read it: please do, as this is a sort of adjunct to its basic premise.

 

Why do we find it so much easier to speak to one another via the written word? As I have suggested in my prior article, I often wonder if physical appearance does impose an instant discrimination to those whom we decide, we may or may not have something in common with. Very often, social gatherings ( unless you are involved in a bible study group, for example ) are quite superficial. We have been taught to steer away from hot topics that may invoke an argument, so we stick to topics such as the weather, celebrity, gossip, and/or other petty issues. If you are married and have children, then you very often talk about parenting. But if we are single, we tend to talk about the opposite sex, romance or lack thereof, or maybe we talk about ourselves and risk appearing overly self centered.

 

Nonverbal communication imposes an impedance to intimacy. The media has taught us that physical appearances are critically important in order to succeed in this world. Women and men alike, compete with one another for higher social statuses, job advancements, and even romantic relationships in this way. And as we become an increasingly competitive society, our physical appearances have become subjectively vital aspects to our survival. If not, then why would we be seeing the dramatic rise of plastic surgery procedures performed to disguise the natural aging processes, subtle imperfections, or other fairly shallow examples of our emphasis on physical beauty? This is not to say that I am wholeheartedly against the boost in self esteems that may be achieved by the correcting of gross disfigurements. But why are younger and younger people obtaining botox injections, face lifts, or other truly unnecessary ( not to mention, unaffordable ) procedures? Or why on earth are those whose income brackets are less than $30,000/year sporting expensive Coach purses, or buying $400 pair of shoes?

 

Meanwhile, more and more of us are resorting to the internet to obtain unconditional acceptance. Is the reason we do this have something to do with the way we communicate nonverbally? Have we been taught that we must be always on guard, and therefore, in some way, be dishonest? Are we afraid to say what we really think because we fear being socially excluded? Are we a society that encourages censorship to such an extent, that we can not talk to one another without judgment?

 

My thought is that the internet is revealing more and more just how much we all really do have in common. And I think its popularity is revealing how much we desire to say the very things that are most often left unsaid. Would you say that you are more or less likely to say what you think via the written word, or face to face? And if so, why or why not?

 

Questions to ponder.